All posts tagged: narcissism

Glass(es)ing

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What’s the difference between overalls and coveralls? Just as you might expect, it’s one of those cases where the answer appears to be ‘it depends.’ (Oh, all right. The most common distinction hereabouts is that ‘coveralls’ are more or less boilersuits and ‘overalls’ are those pant thingies with the attached bib-and-suspenders, typically worn by clownish rustics in bad comedies or murderous psychopaths in horror films. I was thinking of this because…) I wear glasses. Well, […]

Seeing. Or not.

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Bananas. We were out of bananas. And that meant that I had to go to the store. Not just for bananas, you understand; I needed other stuff too. I’m too lazy — usually — to go to the store for just one thing. It’s just that bananas (like monkeys, farts and a few well-chosen words) are inherently funny. Anyway, when I went to the store my first thought was ‘mathematicians.’ My second was ‘pigeons.’ And […]

Searching. Again. (Or not.)

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What brings people here? I’ve mentioned a few times — perhaps a few too many times — that I’m interested in (or at least entertained by) the reasons people have for arriving at this pile of self-indulgent noodling. I know that some people arrive here because they’re family or friends and they either feel obligated to take a look (“Aw mom, do I have to?” “Yes, dear. He’s your friend so you have to.”) or […]

Clashing

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I’ve always blamed Shakespeare. Not for everything, of course. (My grip on reality may be somewhat tenuous at times but it’s not that bad.) No, I blame him for some things. For example, in 1973 he made me sit through an excruciatingly forgettable (but not forgettable, if you know what I mean) performance of Twelfth Night. And it’s his fault there are annoying birds that harass me when I mow the lawn (as if mowing […]

Soaping

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I didn’t shave today. Despite being touted (well, sort of) by one of the largest newspapers in the country as an authority (or at least an enthusiast) on scraping the hairs from one’s face, most days I don’t. It’s not that I think that looking like a hobo is particularly becoming, it’s just that I’m fundamentally a lazy person. And besides — I really don’t feel particularly comfortable applying sharpened steel to my throat while […]