Breaking (glass)

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Why is it that when you’re trying to do something quickly and efficiently you lose the ability to type? (What, that doesn’t happen to you? What are you, some kind of weirdo?)

I have white coat syndrome. In a bad way.

So it was with some trepidation that I walked into the local (it’s just down the street) hospital and looked for the radiology department. Of course, there are no signs that say where the radiology department actually is. Worse, the ‘information’ desk was empty except for a sign that said that there was no one there. Helpful, that.

But that wasn’t the worst part.

It was 7:30 at night so the place was much quieter than usual. ‘Empty’ hospitals are creepier than busy ones. But that wasn’t the worst part either.

I found the radiology department and the nice lady at the desk who wasn’t wearing a white coat asked me the same questions that the nice lady on the phone asked me two days ago. She gave me a form to fill out. The form had the same questions on it. I filled it out without whining or complaining, though. (Well, not very much.) I made my way to the waiting room where there wasn’t a copy of the October 2013 issue of Cosmo. The MRI tech (again, not wearing a white coat) came in and took my form, looked it over and then asked me the same questions again.

Yet again, that wasn’t the worst part.

She told me to undress, then ushered me into a cold room and told me to lie on the specially chilled table. That wasn’t the worst part. She clamped my head into a cage, strapped headphones to my head and asked which radio station I’d like to listen to. I told her. She went away and turned on a different one.

That wasn’t the worst part either.

After ten minutes of a giant magnet screaming in my ear (both of them, actually), she came back into the room, adjusted my ‘gown‘ (that wasn’t the worst part) and proceeded to empty a comic-opera syringe (“This won’t hurt a bit.”  Laugh laugh, joke joke.) into my arm. I was tired and slightly nauseous from playing hockey and I really, really don’t like needles but that wasn’t the worst part.

After that it was back in the magnet (OF DOOM) for more thumping, screaming and vibrating. At about the halfway mark the wrong radio station actually played music that I liked. Unfortunately, the headphones were the lowest-fidelity ones on the face of the planet so it took almost twenty seconds to tell what the music was.

And that was the worst part.

 

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The Author

Rose Glace is the pseudonym of nobody important.

6 Comments

  1. larsomatic says

    I am glad that your inability (in the machine racket) to distinguish a 22-year-old pop tune was the worst of it! That must mean that all the other things were not really so bad.
    btw, that very last hyperlink: pretty sure I see Hugh Laurie in the video, doing his idiot nobleman character from “Blackadder”. So that’s good.

    Like

    • Probably bad phrasing but in my defense it _was_ a ten minute writing challenge. It’s not necessarily “the worst” but “the thing I found the most annoying” which isn’t entirely the same thing. Asking the same questions over and over is annoying but they’re covering their asses. I get that. (Heck I have a hat that says “Cover your ass” on it.) The complete lack of signage and directions is annoying but it’s always like that and I should (and occasionally do) remember to allow more time for the inevitable ‘getting-lost-and-retracing-my-steps’ dance. Injections are annoying but it’s part of the process so shut up and deal with it. But a “sound system” that’s so bad that you can’t tell what it is being played at you? At some level, that’s a choice.

      Probably says more about me than anything else, of course.

      Like

    • Genetics, history and age have conspired to make me an annoying and easily annoyed person. The real suspense is “what will set him off _this_ time?”

      Enjoy your time in Kingston.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Pingback: The Trail | Murder & missadventure

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