Expediting

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So, in this, the age of on-line shopping, I ordered a thing. (It doesn’t matter what the thing is, except that it’s small — a couple of kilos at the most.) The company sent me an email that included the line

“Your order has been shipped! How’s that for excitement?”

Excitement? Perhaps not the word I would have chosen, but it was nice to hear. Next step? Wait. Because it was shipped as an “Expedited parcel.”  What does ‘expedited’ mean? Canada post is channeling Humpty Dumpty (‘When I use a word,’ Humpty Dumpty said, in rather a scornful tone, ‘it means just what I choose it to mean — neither more nor less.’) because, while to most people ‘expedite’ means something akin to ‘to make something happen quickly’ but to Canada Post it means that they’ll do something when they damn well get around to it. I received my notification very early in the morning of September 17. It’s currently early in the morning of September 21. In that time I could have driven from anywhere in the country to where I live. Canada Post? According to their web site, the package is still ‘in transit’ and won’t be delivered for over three more days.

I’m not complaining that it takes a predicted eight days to ship a package. (Well, maybe a little.) Shipping things faster costs more and businesses choose the cheapest option when they advertise ‘FREE SHIPPING.’ I get that, really I do. I’m just annoyed that Canada Post has the gall to call this particular service ‘Expedited.’

What do you want to bet that the name of the service was selected by a fat guy in a suit? (Despite what Eric says, I still blame them for everything.)

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The Author

Rose Glace is the pseudonym of nobody important.

2 Comments

  1. In contrast to this, I once ordered a game from Amazon. It arrived the same day. Shipping was free.

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  2. i definitely agree. amazon periodically changes their shipping procedures, but they sometimes (often?) use Canada Posts ‘Expedited Parcel’. Expedited Parcel is a little odd — the estimated delivery times on their web page are “next day local, 1-3 days regional, 2-7 days national’. next day or a couple of days i would call ‘expedited’. a week for in-country delivery? not ‘expedited’ — that’s virtually identical to their “Regular Parcel” service. (and of course my delivery estimate of 8 days is more than the maximum quoted for ‘expedited parcel’ — not only is it not ‘expedited’, it may not even meet their (rather lax) published specs.

    i really don’t care a whole lot. but if they (the post awful) are in financial distress (and they claim they are) then ditch the person who named this service ‘expedited’ — he’s clearly being paid too much.

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